


Internal Connection

by LateToTheFandom



Category: Mass Effect - All Media Types, Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Angst, Can be seen as romance or platonic, Character Development, Depression, F/M, Geth, Minor Shepard/Garrus Vakarian, Self-Acceptance, Self-Hatred
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-03
Updated: 2018-10-03
Packaged: 2019-07-24 10:35:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,079
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16173338
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LateToTheFandom/pseuds/LateToTheFandom
Summary: Cerberus had spent two years rebuilding Shepard and piecing her body back together. Only when it was over and she was awake did she realize that they took away something in the process, leaving the commander cold and hollow.That is until a true synthetic boards her ships and Shepard feels alive all over again.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> FYI, this was written with the intention of developing into a romance.
> 
> Paragon route, Heratics rewritten, semi based off of my own Shepard. Tried to keep it as open to imagination on physical appearance as possible.
> 
> I do not have a beta, I apologize for any errors.

It was slow.

Very slow. 

... It sort of crept up in a way. Hard to really explain. One moment she felt on the rise. Like her world, while wanting to kill her every which way, was expanding.

Shepard had known from the very beginning that when she awoke from her comatose sleep that she would be fighting every waking second. Project Lazarus had left a marker on her. A tattoo imprinted on her DNA. A debt. 

As much as it pained her to admit, she owed them.

The moment she could hear Miranda Lawson telling her to pick up a gun, Shepard’s stomach seemed to permanently tense. She could remember how her muscles ached. How she could hear her bones grinding under her skin. A whirring noise behind the ears. Everything was so unbelievably overwhelming. Yet through the fire and gunshots bursting in the lab, it was clear she still had a mission. 

Live and concur.

And that is what she did. The moment she left her safe isolated womb of project Lazarus and it’s peaceful sleep, she had to struggle.

She found that after a while, being under the order of Cerberus gave her a perspective on things. She wasn’t living. Not really. Surviving maybe. Was that not what everyone does? How could she truly be alive when every time she clenched her hands, she could feel electric murmuring cords instead or tendons. Nothing felt alive.

No matter what she did, saving as many lives as she could possibly manage, she felt... nothing. The impact of emotion didn’t feel truly real. She processed sympathy, anger, hope, but there seemed to be this filter in her. Like she wasn’t allowed to feel these things. Like it did not matter.

Even after her scars healing and the flesh stitching itself together, it was just another reminder that she was not real. She was a dead woman walking. 

Eventually more members joined her on the second Normandy. From brutal emotionally stunted Krogan to a dying Drell assassin who really did wear his heart on his sleeve. All good people who each had a story. Stories she wanted to explore and help aid however she could. To them she was Commander Shepard. Someone who would lay her gun down to help them. Would they do something like that for her, help her in her pathetic existential crisis? 

Pathetic? Dammit this was pathetic. She felt pathetic.

Yet, she looked alive. Everyone could see the old Shepard. She seemed normal to all around her and no one seemed to notice the pain and conflict in her eyes. God and that is what hurt most of all. 

This was Cerberus’s fault. It all was. Sometimes she wished they would have just let her remain burned up and charred. At peace in space. But that would be selfish wouldn’t it? Leaving her friends when there was a way for her to be brought back? Yeah...

But damn... for once she wanted to be a little selfish.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tumblr: LateToTheFandom 
> 
> Warning - Gore.

This really was bullshit. Reapers were bullshit. It made her sigh rather loudly behind her helmet.

 

“Shepard?”

 

Whipping her head to the side, Garrus raised a brow at her. Well sort of. As close as a race with no eyebrows could manage. “This mission has got me thinking. We need this IFF to get through the relay-“

 

“Correct.”

 

“I find it funny that they even have one. I understand some of it but who exactly do the Reapers consider friendly enough to pass through aside from themselves and Geth?” She shifts, her hip resting on a console while her arm slacks with gun in tow, still ready to aim and fire when the time came.

 

“Well they-... you know, I don’t have a damn clue. If they are out there making friends, I can only imagine the gossip about us.” They both chuckled.

 

After the banter with her Turian squad mate, Shepard looked down at the floor. At one point she found him to be quiet attractive. His personality for the most part. He definitely was charming in his own way and made her laugh. Yet she never felt the need to pursue anything. It didn’t seem right to her. Once he was on her ship, abandoning his role as Archangel to join her team, she internally shot any feeling she may hold for him in the fucking head.

 

It was just easier that way. If she lost him after getting him to care for her, she would never forgive herself. So they remained good friends. And that was it.

 

Looking back up, Garrus had turned to talk with Tali. The two of them seeming to get along and joke but rather tensely. They looked cute together. Garrus was good for her as well as her for him. Plus she didn’t trust anyone more to care for the Quarian. Tali was like a sister to her and she didn’t think she would approve of anyone else.

 

The ship rocked slightly. The squad stumbling then readying their weapons.

 

“Here we go.”

 

Of course once they were on the ground, all sorts of shit had to surface. Husks swarming and charging at the three. To be honest, she would rather go up against just about any other creature. Geth were more enjoyable to be honest. Which was saying a lot. Husks just didn’t back down. An entire cartridge of ammo could rip through their bodies and they would keep running forward.

 

Not to mention she always had a sense of dread killing them. These were people once. Humans with families and loved ones who probably missed them.

 

It was something she had to work past early in the job. Something aims to kill you, you kill it first.

 

Their was a slight squish in her movements. Blood soaking past armor and into the clothing underneath. A bit gross. Walking down the hallways and ramps, Shepard paused to watch data logs. Something to distract her from the discomfort. It was like wearing wet socks.

 

The data vid was static for a moment before clearing up and displaying. Men locked away and seemingly going insane from isolation. Talk of walls watching them and loosing memories. It was strange to actually see the process. She always figured it was... quicker.

 

A small shudder ran through her spine, finger tightening on the trigger.

 

“What is it?” Garrus whispered, not wanting to give away their position. Though she was sure the vids probably alerted anything near by already.

 

“Dunno. I hate this place. Let’s keep moving.” Stepping away from the screen, she turned and began walking. The metal grate floor creaking beneath her. There was a loud groan. The sound mixed with gurgling.

 

“Get to cover!” Shepard spit out before running and sliding behinds a crate. Her rifle settling up on the surface so she could see ahead. Sure enough, husks seemed to appear everywhere. Blood and puss dripping down their chins and necks while cold eyes locked into her position. Before the first could charge, she fired, nailing it between the eyes and causing its head to explode with bone and flesh.

 

The fire fight continued, more pouring in and replacing the ones they killed. Cut off one head, two grow back. She needed to move closer.

 

Scooting to the edge of the crate, Shepard whipped her body around and slid her sniper rifle on her back. Her arm reaching farther and pulling out the assault.

 

 _Click_.

 

Bullets seemed to shred and tear through. The force pushing the bodies back and allowing her to walk forward. Her boots sinking into a small layer of sludge from the ground organs. Lovely. She must have looked like a hot mess. Wet socks and all.

 

When the groaning stopped, so did her fire. “All clear.” Seeing a small case of ammo, she reloaded and approached. “Get what you need and let’s move.”

 

Only an arms length from the ammo, another groan. Dammit. Her body straightening and readied for another fight but before she could lift up the rifle and aim, the husks body flung forward. A shot ringing through the hangar. The husk wasn’t moving.

 

“Sniper! I couldn’t see the shooter. A survivor from the science team?”

 

Another shudder ran through her. All she could do was stare at the body. Something felt wrong. She had to keep going.“We will find out soon enough...”

Well, sooner than expected.

 

 

**_“Shepard Commander.”_ **


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tumblr: LateToTheFandom 
> 
> I am sure there are a few errors, I am so sorry.

She wasn’t really sure why people were so shocked she had brought a Geth aboard her ship. Shepard already woke Grunt against better judgement and she had not once regretted that choice. It pissed her off a little that Miranda and Jacob both had their own opinions on what to do with the unit. One wanted to turn it in for Cerberus study and the other just wanted it to remain off. You’d think they would instill a little more trust in her. She hadn’t mad a bad call _yet_.

 

But that had meant she had already made up her mind. Would turning it on really be the best choice? What if it woke up hostile and attempted to hack EDI? Could it kill her whole ships crew?

 

She wanted to wake it up though. Her entire body screamed at her to do it. This wasn’t like Grunt and putting in a little faith. It was something she felt she had to do.

 

“Riding down to me... any input you wanna put in on the subject?” The commander was talking to herself. Was she expecting an answer? She was going crazy.

 

“Now or never.”

 

Shaking it off, Shepard stepped into the Med bay, passing Dr. Chakwas. The good doctor giving her a look of “good luck”. Yeah she needed that right now.

 

The second door shut behind her. Ahead laying a cold clump of steel. She hated Geth. Something in her actually felt good when she shot them. Filleting metal was relaxing after the things she witnessed them do. Was she really about to wake up this thing?

 

Yet...

it did...

save her.

 

Sniping two husks about to attack her from behind and allowing her to pass through and obtain the IFF. Not turning it on felt- well, rude.

 

Stepping closer, a soldier saluted and awaited command.

 

“I’m turning this thing back on, be ready.” Her voice was harsh. He needed to know that if this went sour, he had to back her up and slow this thing down.

“Aye aye.”

 

Blue light gently shown on her face. EDI making her presence known. “I have isolated our systems and erected additional firewalls. I am prepared to resist any hacking attempt.” Good. Shepard wasn’t going in alone and at least EDI and the ship would be safe.

 

A barrier raised. The Geth being completely isolated to the bench. Raising her arm, she began the activation process. A few seconds went by. Nothing. Her fingers typed away. Still nothing. Was it faking or did it shut down permanently?

 

Staring into the white optic, she held her breath while biting her bottom lip. Why... why wasn’t it waking up?

 

Suddenly it’s fingers twitched. Optic brightening, now more of a bluish hue. It sat up, assessing its surroundings and then standing from the bench. Everything this machine radiated said soldier. It was pretty awe inspiring in a way.

 

Actually, now that she mentions it, it was much larger up close. Were they always this size? Had she ever seen one up close? Now that she could get a good look, it was very humanoid and quarian in physical build. Three fingers on each hand and two toes on its feet. Its chest and legs were pretty organic looking. The wires resembling muscle. Jesus.

 

The Geth stood silent, waited for something. She had to say something. “Can you understand me?”

 

Pause “Yes.” That should have been obvious. He has already spoken to her, why wouldn’t he be able to understand as well?

 

“Are you going to attack me?”

 

Pause. “No.” Glad that’s covered, Terminator.

 

Even with the reassurance, it still didn’t seem safe to let her guard down. She had questions. For a moment she figured this is how Liara felt about protheans.

 

Shepard swallowed to clear her throat “You said my name aboard the reaper ship. Have we met?” It may have looked like every other Geth but she was fairly sure she would remember one with a hole blasted through its chest and N7 armor along with the ability to speak and not wanting shoot her.

 

“We know of you.” Optics shift slightly. The plates above his head moving with speech. Interesting. “You mean I’ve fought a lot of Geth.” She tried to clarify, arms crossing.

 

“We have never met.” It speaks like a computer. Responses more document layout style unlike EDI who you has some personality in her speaking style. More straight forward.

 

“No, you and I haven’t, but I’ve meet other Geth.” Her mind flashed momentarily to Sovereign and Saren. All the Geth she slaughtered to get to them. Losing a friend in the process. A familiar hate building.

 

She had to keep calm, though. If she took it out on this thing then the hostility might be returned. “We are all Geth, and we have not met you. You are Shepard. Commander. Alliance. Human. Fought heretics. Killed by Collectors. Rediscovered on the Old Machine.”

 

Well then. It seemed to know a decent amount. It was safe to assume the ones it called the “Old Machine” was the Reapers. Heretics on the other hand...?

 

She asked just incase. After confirmation on the reapers, she furrowed her brow and puffed out her cheek slightly. That still left out- “What do you mean “heretics”?”

 

It’s body swayed. It was weird how organic it seemed. How it moved. Even it’s voice was... nice. Human almost. Like EDI. Still too formal, however. “Geth build our own future. The heretics asked the Old Machines to give them the future. They are no longer part of us. We were studying the Old Machines hardware to protect our future.” Our future.

 

A familiar tenseness surfaced in her belly. Our didn’t seem like a fitting word. She never viewed them as a ‘people’. That had sound pretty damn organic. But... this isn’t organic. She didn’t think she could handle another organic on her ship anyway. There was enough guilt riding with this upcoming suicide mission.

 

Why was she even considered whether she needed to worry about this thing or not?

 

A question slipped past Shepard’s lips. Her mind trying to put together the possibility of GOOD Geth. That even sounded wrong in her head.

 

It answered textbook, laying it all out for her. They continued their dialog for a short while. Her speaking rather slow as well as it’s. Both of them choosing their words carefully and connecting information.

 

“So, you aren’t allied with the Reapers?”

 

The Geth moved slightly. Just enough that Shepard could hear buffing and whirring. Like the kind she had experienced when she first woke up from the Lazarus project. It just reminder her that he was pure synthetic.

 

“We oppose the heretics. We oppose the Old Machines. Shepard-Commander opposes the Old Machines. Shepard-Commander opposes the Heretics. Cooperation furthers mutual goals.” Cooperation. Between herself and this Geth. That seemed dangerous. Yet did she have a choice? Not only that, having Geth on her side was very beneficial and if it was telling the truth... which she supposed it was since it was telling her all this in detail...

 

“Are you asking to join us?” Shepard would only ask once. Her body still shaking with the feeling that she needed to do this. It made her feed scared. She didn’t know if she really wanted to do this. Yet, she had to.

 

It’s optics shift, head nodding slightly. It was hard to tell, but she swore he was sizing her up. She is making a mistake. “Then what should I call you?” Her fingers twitched a bit as she put in the command code to lower the barrier. Blue walls disappeared and there was nothing between the Geth and her that would stop an attack.

 

Yet it didn’t. It simply stood still. An expressionless face reflecting her own.

 

“Geth.”

 

Shepard’s nose scrunched up “I mean you specifically.”

 

“We are all Geth.”

 

Irritation crept into her voice. It was yanking her around. It knew what she meant and was pushing it off. “What is the individual in front of me called?”

 

“There is no individual, we are Geth. There are currently 1,183 programs active within this platform.” Oh boy... This was getting to be a bit complex and it had already been a long day. Her head hurt.

 

Suddenly EDI appears. Her glow illuminating the rest of the room.“My name is legion for we are many.” Biblical. Ironic and honestly pretty fitting. Shepard nodded gently “That seems appropriate”

 

“Christian Bible, the Gospel of Mark, chapter five, verse nine. We acknowledge this as an appropriate metaphor. We are Legion, a terminal of the Geth. We will integrate into Normandy.” This Geth- Legion, now apart of her crew. A Geth. It was insane and yet she couldn’t help but be curious as to what this synthetic could provide and share. Shepard smiled lightly and holds out her hand. The unit awkwardly holds its hand out in front of it as well. The interaction requiring her to initiate.

 

Grasping its hand in hers, she shook firmly. Her palm cooling from the metal beneath it. The chill forcing a small shudder up her arm and down her neck. The same feeling from when she was aboard the Reaper ship.

 

Legion. _We are Geth_.

 

As she pulled her hand away, she looked back up into his optic and gave one last smile “Welcome aboard...”


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tumblr: LateToTheFandom 
> 
> A bit more OOC here for Shepard.

The next few days were clustered together. She wasn’t truly sure what day of the week it was. Maybe Sunday? It felt like a Sunday. Or maybe a Tuesday. Legion almost immediately settled and told her about the Geth heretics virus. Knowing the bond was fresh, she made it top priority and left to stop it. Of course once they arrived Legion told her that it would be able to rewrite the virus to have the opposite effect and allow the heretics to return to the Geth. Because fuck Shepard and telling her prior.

 

The entire time sneaking through the station she had it running through her head. She had gained the loyalty of every single member of her crew and yet this felt like this was more her ass on the line instead of Legion’s. Each stop they made, it would comment, trying to find reason in their choices. It’s brow plates knotting and lowering. It looked confused. Lost.

 

That was probably what helped her choose. Legion may not be organic but it was clear it understood some things about them. Internal conflict being one of them. A thousand voices in its platform and yet there was an unsureness. Something entirely human.

 

“How could we have become so different?”

 

She felt empathy for it. Loosing so many of your people to something so blindingly evil and cruel. It was no different than any organic. Even they could experience loss.

 

Who was she to ignore that?

 

So... she allowed it. That day she trusted it, allowing Legion to rewrite the heretics. When it became one big someone instead of something to her.

 

Now she was just confused. Shepard finding herself wandering the crew deck and passing glances to the med bay. She wanted to visit. At least before the passed through the Relay. There was so much more to figure out. There was no reason not to talk to it. She had smoothed things over between it and Tali and talking would be good, right? Learning what the Geth are really about.

 

Shepard groaned and spun on her heels. Turning back around and marching back around the elevator and to the med bay. Her arms swinging beside her with purpose and on a mission. Yet when she was in front of the door, her teeth clenched.

 

Go inside.

 

She raised a hand to activate the door. Why was she so tense? She felt sympathy for him. Nothing special. Yet that was just it. She was genuinely interested in getting to know this Geth and learn more. She felt more than sympathy. Curiosity too. Maybe even a little compassion. And it was terrifying. She hadn’t been this invested in a thought since before Lazarus. Everything seemed sepia before hand and now she wanted to know what was behind that blue light.

 

During her thought process, her fingers grazed the activation mechanism. The door opening much too fast for her to react. Standing calm and still across the room was Legion. Optic glued to her.

 

“Shepard Commander.”

 

She was in the room now and couldn’t just leave. And why should she? She has questions. She wants answers.

 

“I’d like to find out more about you.” Truthfully.

 

Legion shifts lightly on its hips. Metal tinking together. “Topic?”

 

How to start. There was a lot she wished to know but she wasn’t sure what she wanted to know first. Her eyes darted along its frame. Trying to pick something out to start off with. Finally settling on his chest and arm, she steps forward. “I noticed you have a piece of N7 armor welded to you. Where did you get it?”

 

“It was yours. When you disappeared, we were sent to find you-“

 

It continued and Shepard couldn’t help but smile slightly while it spoke. That’s pretty flattering no matter who or what it came from. Sure it didn’t make sense why he needed her armor, but it was nice to think on.

 

“-we were discovered. This is the impact of a rifle shot.” Its hand gestured to the gaping hole in its torso. Taking the gesture as an invitation to stare, she examined the damage. Maybe they had something to weld over it. At least to keep the exposed wires safe. Though she was impressed how Geth can take a shot like that and keep walking while making their own repairs. Sure it isn’t so nice when you are the one shooting them and they won’t die, but it was amazing.

 

Shepard stretches her spine a bit. Popping her back and switching her weight on her other leg. “So how many other Geth were sent out to find me?” Upon asking, her arms crossed, head tilting up and waiting for an answer. It was a weird to think about a mob of Geth traveling around like tourists searching for her. Actually in her mind it was somewhat funny. She knew that isn’t what happened, the whole being shot in the chest and all, but it would have been great if it had.

 

Legion seemed to have taken notice to her more relaxed demeanor, seeing she obviously had something on her mind and or was making her own conclusions. “We are the only mobile platform beyond the veil.” The only friendly one at least. “Organics fear us. We wish to understand, not incite. One platform was judged sufficient.”

 

One platform. It was awfully conflicting knowing they resides in one body. It felt like a person. Yet she felt like sho couldn’t acknowledge it as such. Even Legion confirmed it was not a single being and was in fact an entire people.

 

Did Geth have board meetings on these sorts of things? Following soldiers around who happen to get lucky and kill a Reaper?

 

“So you have been looking for me for two years?”

 

“We visited Therum, Feros, Noveria, Virmire, Ilos. A dozen unsettled worlds. The trail ended at Normandy’s wreckage.” Legion optic shifted away for a moment. “You were not there. Organic transmission claimed your death. We recovered this debris from your hard suit.”

 

Her own eyes glanced at the armor, unbeknownst to the optic that returned its gaze and watched her carefully.

 

Shepard slowly looked up. “Why were you trying to contact me?”

 

“You oppose the heretics. Those that took the Old Machines as gods.” Gods. Did Geth have an interest in religion? But it also didn’t make any sense. Hell, her whole team was just as included as she was to take down Saren and Sovereign. They all were. She wasn’t special aside from the fact that she happened to come in contact with the beacon. “All kinda of organics fought Sovereign and his Geth allies. Why am I so interesting?”

 

Another shift, like Legion was trying to find the most datapad answer possible to sate her. “You were the most successful. You killed their god. You succeeded were others did not. Your code is superior.” A lot of you’s in that response. Her code was superior? Was she supposed to be flattered or cocky? If anyone else had said that she would have thought they didn’t get out of the lab much and were looking to score with her in the nerdiest way possible. But with Legion, it was just so... honest. Shepard had to physically fight against the muscle in her face not to smile.

 

That still left out the N7 armor and its choice of using her piece. It waiting that long and not patching up a hole like that was just stupid.

 

Internally shaking the smile out, Shepard uncrossed her arms and stepped closer. Her face a short distance away from the unit. “That doesn’t explain why you used my armor to fix yourself.”

 

It seemed to shy away just slightly yet stood its ground. Blue light flickering and searching her face to see her intent. Was she upset it used her armor? It could not tell. “There was a hole...” it’s voice sounded unsure, not quite understanding the conflict.

 

Shepard leaned back slightly, giving room. Why was it so apprehensive and awkward with her suddenly? Had her armor been that valuable. It made no sense for the Geth, as intelligent as they were, to sacrifice time to repair for a busted armor price that belonged to her. “But why didn’t you fix it sooner? Or with something else?” Answer her that.

 

Legion looked fought in a corner. It’s body swaying like it truly had no plan of defense. But she wasn’t attacking it. Why couldn’t it just give her a definitive answer? Was that really so difficult-

 

Shepard’s blinked before widening ever so slightly. Face softening into a look of surprise and understanding while lips parted to answer her own question.

 

 

“No data available...”

 

And for a moment, she felt something real.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tumblr: LateToTheFandom 
> 
> Angst angst angst.
> 
> Last chapter. Should I continue this? Next part would most likely be a separate fic and maybe contain smut. Not decided.
> 
> Looking for a beta for an upcoming Shakarian fic. Message or comment if interested.

It was chilled in her cabin. Not enough to make her unbearably uncomfortable, but enough to make her crawl into bed and huddle a pillow. Her body facing a blank wall and taking it all in. She was going to be leading a group of good men and women into a suicide mission tomorrow. Even if it was completely necessary, Shepard dreaded this days arrival. Marching on to the death of innocent people. Yet they’d follow her anywhere. She knew that. They trusted her. Looked up to her. Relied on her. A lot of people did these days.

Shepards body curled, her knees drawing closer to her chest and her grip on the pillow tightening. She didn’t want this. She never did. Having to look after so many lives and not knowing if you can save them all. She didn’t even think she could save herself tomorrow. Surely it was time she died for real. The Normandy’s destruction had to be a sign. And yet here she was. Ready to die another day.

“Cerberus...” 

Gently a had uncoiled and was held out in front of her. As she inspected the appendage, Shepard wondered if the vein she saw was artificial or not. More often than she would care to admit, the thought of cutting into the tubes and skin entered her mind. To inspect the authenticity. Was she even real? It didn’t feel like it anymore. 

“Am I alive.” Her words came out in the softest whisper, not quite a question. Heavy eyelids shutting and opening to wet eyelashes. No. She was not.

“Commander Shepard, Legion wishes to meet with you.”

Swallowing hard and smearing her face on her pillow to wipe any stray tears, Shepard sat up, taking a deep breath. “Yeah- sure. Send them up.”

“Legion is outside your door now.”

Oh.

“Alright then let it in.” She ran fingers along the top of her head, getting a quick glance at herself in a picture frame. Did she really look that shitty? “Jesus Chr-“

“Shepard Commander.” Shepard jumped slightly. Legion standing at the top of the steps leading down to her bed. His frame straight and reminding her of any generic assistance mech. Maybe it was encoded or had something to do with their servant life past. 

Scooting to the edge of the bed, Shepard stood and stretched. The redness in her face surely gone by now. Good. No one needed to see her in such a mess, not even Legion. “Sorry about that. What can I help you with, Legion?”

“We wish to thank you one last time before our mission tomorrow involving the Reapers. We are aware that the Geth have a a history of hostile encounters with organics and we are grateful for your cooperation and understanding towards us synthetics.” Legion gestured to itself and then her while speaking. Bowing its head while giving thanks. 

The formality made her flush with embarrassment. Somehow talking casually felt like she was insulting it. “Yes, well, of course. I understand we have a long way to go before organics and the Geth come to terms with each other, but I am honored to at least be their at the start.” Shepard stood in silence after. They both did. Both not quiet sure how to continue the conversation or if it had ended there. 

Rocking on her heels, Shepard cleared her throat. “Well, if that’s all, I guess I-“

“Was Shepard Commander crying before we arrived?” The question was blunt and had completely caught her off guard. Immediately she felt anger soar and burn in her. Had it seen her crying? Why would it even bring this up? 

“No I was not.” She spat, not too happy with the vulnerability she was currently experiencing. It made her feel sick. Ready to vomit. Even if she had been caught in the act, it had no business asking about it. It needed to leave. Now.

Sensing the building rage, Legion took a single step forward. It’s foot resting on a step below. Too close for her liking at the moment. “Your heart rate has elevated. When we entered the room, your face was considerably flushed and optics irritated and glassy. You were indeed crying. Why does it bother you that we know this?”

“Because you shouldn’t know, Legion! You are out of line. Learn to keep yourself out of other peoples business.” She yelled, finger shooting out and pointing to the door. The Geth’s head following her direction and then looking back to her. She had never yelled at a teammate like this and the guilt almost outweighed her anger. Almost.

With a single nod, Legion turned and made its way back toward the exit. Only coming to a halt a few feet away. 

Shepard rubbed her eyes until little black dots appeared. This was a nightmare. She just wanted to crawl into bed and hide until tomorrow. “Shepard Commander.”

Her head snapped up to face it. The single blue light seemingly dimmer than before. 

“Is your reaction provoked because we are Geth?”

What? No. “No. No Legion, it isn’t...” Anger dissipated, completely replaced with shame. Is that how she had come across? It had absolutely nothing to do with Legion being Geth, she just did not want anyone seeing her like this. No matter who. No matter what.

Thinking back to when she was younger, she remembered herself as a spunky air headed soldier still training. After Akuze, Shepard would pass out from crying the entire night and slept off the whole day. That way no one could see her breaking down at such a weak point in her life. It was easier that way. To avoid everyone and not let them care about you. Something she guess she had never grown out of. A broken way to shield yourself when all you wanted to do was help others and you wouldn’t even let them close enough to voice concern. She really was a selfish bitch.

Sighing, Shepard sat back down on her bed. Eyes on her toes and brows angled. Metal clicked against the floor, the sound growing closer and approaching at a slow pace. The Geth unit who had never left, now in front of her by a few feet. 

“It’s so cold in this room. I really do hate it.” Her cheeks burned, now wet again. ”All of my digits are cold. I think. They don’t feel like they even belong to me. Nothing does. I find myself feeling numb. Nothing. Only comparable to blank empty... Black. You can’t tell people those things, Legion. They wouldn’t be able to understand. I don’t think I completely understand it. I didn’t mean to direct that onto you.”

Silence.

“You told me how you looked for me while I was being rebuilt. Everyone I knew went on with life. Suddenly I wake up and it’s been two years. If I had just remained gone... what if...? I sound absolutely horrible. Leaving them behind like that. I can’t help wondering if I am truly fit for any of this. But, I cannot lose now. So many are leaning on me.” Her voice rasped at the end. Tone taking on a sense of desperation as if this was the last time she could ever speak to someone.

The bed creaked, weight beside her causing her body to slide and thump against the frame next to her. The action making her loose her train of thought and unable to continue the sentence.

She was just leaning on it. Awkward and entirely new feeling. The two sat quietly for some time. Neither talking but not feeling like they had to say anything. This was enough. Shepard’s tears had dried and her body relaxed a bit. Legion just sitting stoically and looking ahead, arms at its sides. Here she was. Sitting with a Geth. Enveloped in eachothers company.

However, it was only a matter of time before one spoke. It eventually being Legion. “We acknowledge the stress of non consensus and the responsibility you are burdened with. If it provides any consolation, this platform will always be available to ‘lean’ on when those responsibilities become overwhelming.” Legion continues to stare ahead as Shepard looked up at him. Her eyes smiling even though she was exhausted.

Brow plated shifted up ward on its head, as if coming to a conclusion of some kind. “You are a unique organic, Shepard Commander. Body composed of flesh but aided by synthetics underneath. You are not as you were two years ago, and you will never be as you were again. Your humanity blinds any wire and any biotic you hold within you. Alive in a way not even us Geth can completely comprehend.”

Lashes flutter a bit before closing. Crying sessions always making her tired afterward. Turning slightly, Shepard leaned back and rested against the Geth’s arm. “Thank you, Legion.” She hummed quietly, now having a lot to think on.

Legions optic flickered down towards Shepard. Face a tad puffy from her tears but much less red. Her nose however remained wet at the tip from running. No one could pull of a pretty cry face, not even her it seemed. Not that it mattered. The Geth’s optic clicked darted down to see their hands. Fingers just close enough where her heat was sleeping into it’s cold ones.

Her vitals were no longer spastic. It wouldn’t belong before she fell asleep if they remained as still as they were. That put an ease in the unit, it satisfied with her tears drying and heart beat rhythmically beating. It had stopped that. 

Long digits gently pressed against the Commanders. The contact barely even there. However it remained content, not wanting to upset Shepard any more.

 

Tomorrow it would join her in the Suicide mission, following loyally to aid her in fighting against the collectors. As allies.

And as friends.


End file.
